Acne vulgaris has shaped my everyday life, and for a long time, I kept asking myself: why me? Eventually, I started looking deeper and realized this isn’t just my strugglng, it’s the skin condition of a generation. According to Yale Medicine, “Acne affects around 85% of people between the ages of 12 and 24”. What once felt like a personal burden, turns out to be a widely shared experience.
I didn’t even get the chance to say who I was. My face spoke before I could. Everything started around 15 years old, to be more specific, when i graduated middle school, in the summer time. Everyone told me that i was going to be the best version of myself when i would go to high-school , but i did not expect that in a crucial moment of my life, where i will meet new people, strangers that i really don’t know, some uninvited pimples will show on my face.
Denisa Nicoleta, pacient diagnosed with cystic acne, states that: “Everything started at the age of 14-15 in adolescence. This was supposed to be a nice period of time for everyone, but for me it was clearly not and since then i’ve been suffering of acne that turned into cystic acne later.”
I sort of felt that from 15 years old, i would face challenges trough my life, but i didn’t know it was going to be that deep… A study by PubMed says that: “…the prevalence of acne increased worldwide from 1990 to 2021, with the highest rates observed in teenagers aged 15–19 years”.
I obviously didn’t know what acne actually meant. I thought that there were going to be a few pimples, maybe four or five, cause everyone told me that it’s normal and it’s not something special in people’s lives. My mom, who knows everything, told me it is something super common and it might be because of my hormones. I thought of myself that i’m fine cause she had acne too when she was my age, supposing it was genetics and it was just a period of time for it to pass. But in the same time, none of my friends had acne untill then and they were even older. A study by PubMed says that: “In 2021, acne was around 25% more common in young women than in young men”. I am a boy and somehow I was the only one having it…
What is acne?
“Usually, the adolescence acne is caused by hormonal imbalance”.
Assistant lecturer doctor, Cristina Tutunaru
For some people that may be thinking that this is just a game, or a drama created by me, actually, according to NIH(National Institute of Health), “Acne is a common skin condition that happens when hair follicles under the skin become clogged. Sebum oil that helps keep skin from drying out and dead skin cells plug the pores, which leads to outbreaks of lesions, commonly called pimples or zits”.
Doctor Florina Mărculescu, primar dermatologist in dermatovenerology, Regina Maria Clinique, says that: “We get pimples or spots in the context of the disease acne and that by having a lot more of those, it signifies an actual skin condition.” She also stated that: “At a young age, acne can be caused by hormones, stress or genetics.”
What could possibly go wrong?
I only had 6 pimples on my face when the first day of high-school started. I was feeling so nervous, new people, new atmosphere and obviously my six pimples on my face. I finally bit the bullet and i went to say hi to my classmates. Everyone was so nice and heartwarming with me. I couldn’t believe that i was actually socialising with them. We exchanged our names and we went to the classroom. I was so excited to have a deskmate that i even forgot i had pimples. I was sitting alone, deciding who should i pick when suddenly i hear a voice from the back of the class: “Yo, funny guy, why don’t u sit here?”. Yay, i hit the jackpot, in the back of the class and also with cool guys.
“Everyone is noticing the pimples, but not everyone is contouring yourself with that image”.
Denisa Nicoleta, pacient diagnosed with cystic acne
Everything was going so well, nobody judged me, even though, i have to say, the city where i used to live at that time was full of judgy people like this and so was i. We would hangout, get to know each other and even party. I remember that one of my new friends invited us to a party at his house, to get to know us even better, with some alcohol too. I wasn’t drinking that much at that time, only at events with my family, but i said to myself that i could drink a glass of wine. Music, dance, deep talkings, good time, just like a normal party, until, the house owner, my friend, who was apparently the drunkest among us, decided to ask me if i use anything for those pimples on my face. I was so ashamed of what happened and while trying to give an answer, he continued by saying that he was just curious and that his brother had the same thing and it vanished by using something.
The roots of a trauma?
Since that night, everything turned into a nightmare, literally. I think that was the turning point to my new obsession, my skin and everyone’s opinions. I would say that i became more anxious about my face since that event. Those 6 pimples that we were talking about in the beginning never left my face for about one and a half year. And at that time, i was just using handsoap to wash my face, like every 15-16 year old boy. My face was just stagnating for almost two years with those bumps and in the meantime, new people that i would have met would just ask me stupid questions about having those 6 constant pimples. Let’s remember the fact that i had only had those, not even more. My own thoughts about me started to decline, but not to like hate myself, but also not to be able to not see those blemishes that everyone was projecting about me.
“I used to exagerate every pimple that i had, thinking that it was something so bad and when the real acne hit me, i felt sorry for not loving me more back then”.
Iulia, pacient treated with Roaccutane
A new beginning?
The years passed and i was 17. Everyone was grown up, but just as i said, my face was not. That’s when i decided that maybe it’s the moment to really take care of my face and look for some solutions. I was never a fan to the hospitals or doctors, so i started to do my own research on tiktok, with people that had “glass” skin. I didn’t know that social media was so fake back then and, looking back at it, i’m kind of sorry for myself for being too dumb. I remember that i found an asian girl, around 23, that was giving people advice on how she faded her spots and also the products linked to that. It was perfect, the second day i went straight to the pharmacy, buying those(without my mother knowing…) and i was feeling so proud and i coudnt wait to test those things, which have been studied even more before using. I remember that i had basic skincare like a face wash, a cream and the bomb, retinol(isotrotein), but just as a serum, not a pill. According to NCBI(National Center for Biotechnology Information), “Isotretinoin is an oral retinoid prescribed to manage severe nodular acne unresponsive to conventional therapies, including systemic antibiotics.This activity reviews isotretinoin’s FDA-approved indications, off-label uses, and pharmacological effects on sebaceous gland function”.
I was basically using a drug, but in a lower form, just on skin, a drug used to prevent aging and exfoliating. I had an “amazing” experince with this retinol cause from those 6 pimples, in each week, 6 other pimples would arive on my face. Doctor Florina Mărculescu, primar dermatologist in dermatovenerology, explains that: “Retinol, derived from vitamin A, is an active gradient mainly used for people over 20 years old for preventing aging the skin”. What i was basically experiencing then was the “purging” process.
Assistant lecturer doctor, Cristina Tutunaru, says that: “Purging is the process in which the skin stimulates cell renewal and it needs to push out the bacteria that’s underneath your skin”. What really happened to me was that the bad things under my skin started to appear on the surface, the surface that was visible to everyone.
The deeper you sink…
I remember that i started smoking around that time. To be honest, i started cause i just wanted to know how to smoke and i also thought it was something beautiful and distressful. My parents were smoking, my friend so i also decided to do it. When you look at your face and u see a red balloon, you might want to smoke a cigarette to make sure that you would be better.
This dashboard presents a comparative analysis of cigarette consumption in the EU in 2019, segmented by sex and age group. The data originates from Eurostat and for a better understand of these behavioral patterns, we analyzed a cleaned dataset on cigarette consumption in the EU, covering various age groups, genders, and smoking intensities across multiple countries. This dashboard reveals that men consistently smoke more than women across most EU countries, and heavy smoking is significantly more common among males. The gender gap is particularly evident in countries like Bulgaria, Germany, and Hungary, underscoring cultural or social factors influencing smoking habits.
I was so proud of myself using the new skincare that i bought and even though my skin was a total mess back then(by total mess, i mean my both cheeks, my chin, they were red and full of pimples, either under the skin or on the surface on the skin), I wasn’t intimated by other peope. Everyone was asking me what was going with my skin, why did i do this and why i am not crying. I knew that this retinol was going to bring everything bad out and then after a few months i would have a “glass” skin, so i was always joking that they laughed then, but i would laugh after.
Guess what?
My laugh and my confidence faded so quickly and so badly when i saw that even after 6 months, my pimples were even worse and nothing healed, no new skin, just red inflamed skin. At that time i wanted to cut my face, thinking that a new one will eventually save me, but i wasn’t that weird (if i was maybe alone, i would have done that). I started to not recognise myself anymore and my mother saw me how badly i was and so we decided to try to see a dermatologist.
“When u have acne, you literally just want to peel off your skin and hope that a new clean layer will come out”.
Sophie, person who recently cleared their acne:
I was so happy that maybe, i could be saved, but in the end it was not a pleasant experience. The way that i got there, the dermatologist, without even inspecting or asking me about my routine, prescribed me retinol. I was surprised cause i used that too and i told her and she said that I used it, but not as a pill and what she prescribed was actually Roaccutane (Isotretinoin).
“This antibiotic, Roaccutane saved my acne and the time that i have lost using all those creams”.
Iulia, pacient treated with Roaacutane
Roaccutane
I heard about this drug and i knew that i wasn’t going to take this cause from other stories that i’ve heard, this thing would get me a lot of bad effects, like nose bleeding, fully dry skin, especially around the lips. I had to take a monthly check-up for my liver and basically it could destroy it. According to NCBI, “…liver function abnormalities occur in up to 15% of patients taking isotretinoin, although significant elevations necessitating discontinuation are uncommon. The mechanism of injury is not fully understood, but it may involve a direct toxic effect, with higher doses linked to increased frequency. Regular monitoring of liver tests is advised, and isotretinoin should be stopped if aminotransferase levels exceed 5 times the upper limit of normal or if symptoms like jaundice develop”.
Iulia, pacient treated with Roaacutane: “At first I was skeptical about this antibiotic and the monthly check-up, but i overcame my fear and i took it. My skin was so dry and I was feeling even more anxious than before. My lips were so cracked that i had to put lip balm daily, at every 3 hours”.
Roaccutane and alcohol
As we know, isotretinoin has some side effects. Beside these things, i couldn’t do one thing cause it would have also damaged my liver and that is drinking. As a person living in country like Romania where alcohol is strictly forbidden until the age of 18, a rule that applies only on paper, we drink a lot. The pandemic period was like a new trend for everyone to find themselves. That’s when i found my anxiety and in my opinion, the worst form of it, hypochondria. I couldn’t sleep because i thought that i was going to die, that i would just stop breathing and as a result, i had been taking nose spray for 3 months. I went to doctor to find out that i was a crazy person and that i should have enjoyed life. At 17 years old you just want to party, to drink and to listen to music and so that’s I did. That was like a good time cause i was not thinking about the ugly parts in life, the ugly me( as a teenager i was so nostalgic and so dramatic). A condition that was mentioned in taking the Roaccutane pill was that i couldn’t drink. Instantly it was a refuse, I also refused because of the liver problems that I could get, but honestly, the main reason was that i could not drink for 6 months and my birthday was also comming. According to Doctor Florina Mărculescu, primar dermatologist in dermatovenerology: “Acne can be worsen by so many things, like stress, age, hormones or even alcohol. Alcohol, not a directly cause for acne, can contribute to hormone imbalances and also cause inflammation”.
This dashboard presents a comparative analysis of alcohol consumption in the EU in 2019, segmented by sex, age class and frequency of drinking. The data originates from Eurostat and for a better understand of these behavioral patterns, we analyzed a cleaned dataset on alcohol consumption in EU. This analysis highlights clear differences: men generally report higher rates of regular alcohol consumption, but females are also not far away from this. However, notable exceptions exist — in Denmark, for instance, women exceed men in monthly drinking, with 46.6% of females consuming alcohol every month compared to 39.1% of males. On the other end, females report more abstination from alcohol than men.
Dermatologists for me were then a huge disappointment. Eveyone told me that they always prescribe Roaccutane wihout even looking or understanding your situatuion, but I did not want to believe it. I obviously didnt take the pill and since then never returned to ask help from a dermatologist. My face was bad, everyone started to make fun of me because they were thinking from the beginning that I was going to fail and finally it was true. At that moment i wanted to burn my face hoping that I’m going to get a new one, but i knew this was not the solution so i started to research on my own again, same TikTok, but more approved content from real dermatologists. For 4 months I stopped using retinol and i just went along with a simple routine. After that I went for korean skincare cause it was a new trend and apparently i repeated the same mistake, again. The retinol serum which caused on my face an eruption was replaced with a korean retinol serum.
Would you be surprised?
Eruption again. I’ve used it only for two months and my face became even worse, I was a red balloon basically. At that point, i started to not show up at all at the meetings with my friends. (just high-school, 7 hours and then straight back home). I remember we were close to the final exam of 12th grade and besides that, i had the final year party. I was totally down mentally, even though i was not showing (and also i am not showing this while writing this article), i felt like a garbage. My own friends, my good friends, the ones that know me the best, the ones that saw me how i felt, they were always making sure to point that i had acne, a rough acne and always made sure to make fun of it. Let’s not talk about strangers, they didn’t know me, but my biggest enemies, in my case, were my friends.
Again a new start…
I managed the final year party with some struggles, but i felt good, I also tried cover some of my skin, in a superficial way (not with foundation, but a cream), but everything went great. This was happening around june- july (this period of time I think) and a new city was expecting me. I was starting college and again, new people, also new city and new mentalities. The medications and the creams were clearly not working on my picky skin and the city that i was to going to college was slightly open minded. Where i grew, being open minded was not really open to people and i obviously did not know what this was reffering to. My face was the same, but i got accomodated with this idea cause people eventually grew up in my town but i didn’t know what could hit me there.
So i started for the first time, to get even deeper into acne, not into creams, not into external factors, but into the internal problem. From what i saw on TikTok, people say that a main cause for your acne is gut health. There is a theory called “The Brain-Gut-Skin Theory”, a theory launched by Stokes and Pillsbury, that, according to PMC(PubMed Central), “…suggested that stress-induced alterations to microbial flora could increase the likelihood of intestinal permeability, which in turn sets the stage for systemic and local skin inflammation.”
So, if i am stressed or eat not so healthy, i might get some skin problems. Basically this is what is now promoted on TikTok, healthy lifestyle for a healthy gut and apparently the bad things are toxins that are going to be out on your face. I took this really seriously and i started my detox diet. Spearmint tea everyday, ginger shots, fruits and vegetables, protein, animal protein and everything that i could found not cooked in oil. I was hoping that this would finally be the time that my acne would disappear, especially for my new people and my new town. People posted, i experienced it, i also had the “The Brain-Gut-Skin Theory”, i could say that i won the lottery( I think?). My whole life i drank and ate whatever i wanted, so it was difficult at the beginning to start this new “life”, but i wanted to be better, my face wanted to be better. I didn’t know that a good diet was that vital in having a healthy skin and apparently, according to NIAMS(National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases): “Some studies show that eating certain foods may make acne worse”.
These visualisations present a comparative analysis of fruits and vegetables consumption in the EU in 2019, segmented by sex, age class and portions consumed. The data originates from Eurostat and for a better understand of these behavioral patterns, we analyzed a cleaned dataset on fruits and vegetables consumption in EU. The “0 portions” category shows us that males tend to not consume fruits and vegetables that much, winning in here, but in the “1 to 4 portions” category, women are taking the lead.
It’s about me, not about you
The college time has finally arrived. My acne was starting to get finally better and I was basically feeling well overall. My new classmates were funny and they also didn’t say anything about my face. From then on, i was getting on a better way. I am 20 now, second year at college and i’ve experienced only once the so called “bully” experience with my acne here. I didn’t care because i finally learnt that being confident and not caring about what others say would be the greatest way to improve myself overall. We should love the way we look, we should have fun (we are still young) and we should also learn that at the end of the day, you must be happy, not the others.
This whole acne experience actually grew on me and as a conclusion, acne can appear at anytime in your life, you just have to embrace it and consider it a beautiful part of yourself. Don’t let people kill your spark and more importantly, never stop caring about yourself.
Autori: Ioan Dan Gabriel, Ionescu Antonia, Iusco Gabriel, Florescu Marta, Andreea Crișan
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